Love Behind Bars

So, I am back on this Jewish dating site which shall remain nameless (but come on, we all know what site I'm talking about...and if not, just go back and read the rest of my blogs, and it shall become clear.)

Lesson #1 in online dating: You gotta put a little effort into it. Thus, I put up what I think are some pretty darn good pictures, I am working on some cute-yet-smart essays that encapsulate me in 100 words or less. (Yup, it's like I'm applying for a scholarship. Ph.D. in Jewish Anatomy, perhaps?)

Lesson #2: You MUST have an open mind and a positive attitude. (Hmmm....maybe that's lessons 2 and 3? Whatev.)

I admit, I get a little flutter when I get an email from this site telling me that they've found a good match for me. So, here's how it goes: I click on the guy to see what sort of hunk they think is deserving of me...

And that's when I realize that this site knows me about as well as my therapist...NOT. AT. ALL.

I'm reading through the guy's profile, he seems intriguing...then I read, 'some problems...,' 'crime...,' 'prison term.' Prison term?

Yes, that's right, HE JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON. I'll say it again. PRISON!!!

Now look, I am not looking for a prince to come riding up through the surf on a white stallion with wind gently caressing his hair (although I wouldn't kick that guy outta bed)... I just want someone who doesn't have a criminal record.

Prison, people. PRISON.
Am I wrong to want to be more than somebody's conjugal visit?