I want to start writing in my blog again...

I think it's because I told my mom that she needs to have her own blog. Ok, the fact that I send her an email and she doesn't know how to open it maybe she can't have a blog...but at least it got me thinking, that I should write again.

Well, it's the New Year. So much hope. So much promise. Lots of resolution to barely stick to. I mean, I thought I would go to the gym 5 days a week. Well, let me tell you people... IT'S RAINING!!! Rain is nature's way of telling me not to go to the gym.

So there we go! I am back. Well, until I decide to quit writing.

By the way, I still love the barista and I am a Starbucks gold card member

A little latte, a little love.

ARE YOU SITTING DOWN?!?!?!

I gave the barista my number! Woo hoo!!


OH NO!!!

HOLY SHIT!


He is going to google me and then find out about this blog. He'll read the blog and think I am a stalker versus the adorableness that I am, and then I can't go back to Starbucks.

Whatever...I couldn't afford it anyway.

My Barista...My Beloved (Round 2!)

This morning, with $12 to my name (yes, you read that correctly), I headed over to my beloved Starbucks to spend a solid third of that money. Not for the high-priced caffeine jolt, mind you...but to see my guy:) MY barista. (yes, I feel that I own him.)

I was furious when I had gone in yesterday and he wasn't there. But damn it, today is a new day, and I'm a persistent girl. I'm a risk taker. I'm like Lara Croft-meets-Glenn Close-in-Fatal Attraction. But much cuter.

Where was I?

Oh right, in line at Starbucks, stepping up to the counter...3 employees crammed into that tiny space behind the register, surely one must be MY guy!

Nope, no luck. Damn it!

"Can I get an iced grande coffee in a venti cup?" (I like a little room to stretch out.) And then, just as I'm getting over my loss with the promise of impending coffee, AS IF THE COFFEE HEAVENS PARTED FROM BEHIND THE PASTRY CASE...there was my sweetie.

"Hey Rach!" (I melted.)

He takes the cup and says, "I got this." (Yeah ya do.) And he makes my drink. We chatted about coffee and the possibility of my running a marathon (not much time for smooth conversational transitions in the time it takes to make an iced coffee.) I could've stayed for hours. But that probably would've gotten him fired. And then, how would our kids get health care?

OK, maybe I'm leaning more towards Glenn Close than Lara Croft.

Love Behind Bars

So, I am back on this Jewish dating site which shall remain nameless (but come on, we all know what site I'm talking about...and if not, just go back and read the rest of my blogs, and it shall become clear.)

Lesson #1 in online dating: You gotta put a little effort into it. Thus, I put up what I think are some pretty darn good pictures, I am working on some cute-yet-smart essays that encapsulate me in 100 words or less. (Yup, it's like I'm applying for a scholarship. Ph.D. in Jewish Anatomy, perhaps?)

Lesson #2: You MUST have an open mind and a positive attitude. (Hmmm....maybe that's lessons 2 and 3? Whatev.)

I admit, I get a little flutter when I get an email from this site telling me that they've found a good match for me. So, here's how it goes: I click on the guy to see what sort of hunk they think is deserving of me...

And that's when I realize that this site knows me about as well as my therapist...NOT. AT. ALL.

I'm reading through the guy's profile, he seems intriguing...then I read, 'some problems...,' 'crime...,' 'prison term.' Prison term?

Yes, that's right, HE JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON. I'll say it again. PRISON!!!

Now look, I am not looking for a prince to come riding up through the surf on a white stallion with wind gently caressing his hair (although I wouldn't kick that guy outta bed)... I just want someone who doesn't have a criminal record.

Prison, people. PRISON.
Am I wrong to want to be more than somebody's conjugal visit?

My barista...My beloved.

My friend gave me a Starbucks gift card for my birthday, so I've been indulging in high-end caffeine fulfillment, at least for the duration of the card's limit. (During these trying economic times, I have been discovering the joys of 7-11...aka low-end coffee.)

I know I'm far from the first single girl (or non-single girl) to say this, but...I have a MEGA-crush on my barista. He is beyond adorable, and because I'm back at the 'bucks recently for like the first time in a really long time, he is showering me with love and affection. (or, at least, this is what I'm seeing through my coffee-goggles.)

You know, he's taking extra care to make sure my drink is perfect, asking me questions about my life...basically everything I could possibly hope for in a man. Today, he asked about my weekend, and I almost jumped over the counter and mounted his coffee-stained apron.

PLUS, he always calls me by my name, which is truly amazing since he hasn't seen me in a year. (F-ing economic crisis.)

So, do you agree with me? A man who knows your coffee order...knows your heart.

(F-ing coffee goggles.)

The Day I lost TV- Digital TV switch

On June 12th 2009 everyone switched to Digital TV except for me....I had bunny ears and a VCR...ahhhhh

My crush is some kind of wonderful!

It's like passing notes and slumber parties all over again.

There is nothing like that great crush. Being an adult and having a middle school crush is the best.

When I was in Middle School, I had many crushes. So much time an energy was thrown into my undying love of these pre-pubescent boys. It was fun to giggle with your friends about this true love during the day and wait for the boys to call at night. This is how I spent middle school. Now, if we look closely, we see all my crushes were gay, but right now I am looking with rose colored glasses and fond memories.

So the acne is gone, I am no longer taking algebra, but ahhh the thrill of the crush still excites me. I have a crush now and love it!

I woke up, drove to the gym all while thinking of kissing this new object of my affection. I ran 3 miles without knowing it. Came home. Got dressed and was at work on time all while thinking of my crush.
Ok, so here is the deal..I need to be an adult and actually confront my crush. Tell him my feelings...see if there is potential. But really, I just want to sit and doodle his name with my gel markers and tape his basketball picture on my trapper keeper.

I voted in person for the first time!

Since I have always voted absentee ballot...I have never had the chance to walk in and vote. Well today changed all that. I was so excited. I woke up at 5:45AM, got dressed, and drove over to the church down the street. There were about 100 people in line ahead of me at 6:45AM and it was RAINING (I know, California...what's up?)

I took my trusty clear swatch umbrella and stood in line. Going over my sample ballot, making sure I knew my props....really it was very magical. My favorite moment was just before I made it inside, my friend Greta from NY texted "I just changed America."

I teared up.
I voted!
My chads were not hanging!
It was a glorious day!

I think I'm in love....

I miss bread!

It's official. I have not had a piece of bread in 170 days.
(The piece of bread I ate to soak up the vodka in Vegas doesn't count..since I don't remember that night at all!)

I miss it. I miss the grains, and the flour, and the soft yummy goodness that a good piece of bread brings.

In my fantasy I would live in a house made of focaccia and eat my way out of it.

Right now, I would parade up and down Ventura Boulevard without my shirt for a good piece of Challah!

At this moment, if I had to choose between Obama, McCain, or seven grain...I choose seven grain.

You Smell Like A Stripper

Ok, this is why I am not so thrilled about dating these days. Why bother? Last night I go out on a date. Makeup= good. Dress= cute. Skin= dry...so I put some lotion on. The guy picks me up and this is how the conversation went down.

Guy: You smell like a stripper.
Rachel: (Looks at him with shock and disbelief)
Guy: Why is that bad?
Rachel: Are you kidding me?
Guy: You try to give a girl a compliment...geez.

This is why I am still single.

The reason I haven't written...

NO! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING...it's not because I have been shacking up with some guy....that would be nice. NO! It's because I have written and produced my own webseries. We just finished shooting this past weekend. This is the first pic from the set I wanted to publish, since Marc (the guy on the right) is one of the people who convinced me to just write the show. Come to think of it, he is the one who got me to start writing a blog.
Why does he always want me to write?
Why do I listen to him?
Thanks Marc.

Saying Goodbye to Michael

Michael and I went to acting school together, he moved to LA, got a job in my office, apartment next door, and basically has been my gay husband for the past 6 years.

Today is his last day in the office. It's not funny. It's sad. He moves to Chicago in a month.

I don't do well with goodbyes.

Facebook. My own little surprise party.

So what I have realized is Facebook is like crack! I am completely addicted..and the shockers keep coming.

I am now in touch with probably one of my oldest friends who I haven't seen in years. Heidi Parcharsky. She is a photographer and lives in New Mexico. We chatted last night. SO MUCH FUN!! I mean this girl and I haven't talked in a LONG TIME! How in the hell would I be able to find a friend from preschool if it wasn't for Facebook.

I have also been able to find ex-boyfriends, and become a little bit of a stalker without them knowing it. Seeing who they are dating now, who has turned gay, who is dating one of my other ex-boyfriends. That's been fun.

Though it gets a little crazy since everyone out there is a doing the same thing. I took my relationship status and changed it from "single" to nothing. But on everyone's news feed, it read "Rachel is no longer listed as single" Well, I got so many phone calls, emails...everyone was so excited that I found someone, and for a brief moment I was excited and thought I WAS dating someone. Maybe in my Facebook world I am dating someone. Hell, I'm married with three kids and live in New York. My dog's name is Sugar Bear.

Flirting with Judaism

Ahhh, so we did it again, the single Jew Crew headed out for a night of single frolicking fun last week. As soon as I walked into the Chinese restaurant where the event was being held, I overheard this guy flirting with this girl. The guy says, "I can read you like the Talmud." I did a double take. SERIOUSLY?
I CAN READ YOU LIKE THE TALMUD?!?!?!

In all of my years of Hebrew Academy, Yeshiva, and studying in Israel, I have NEVER heard something so ridiculous! So that told me where this night was headed, and I proceeded directly to the bar. Now, as we all know, I am doing the "diet detox" so I have not had a drink since the cruise. 2 1/2 Vodka sodas later (yes I am allowed to have vodka), and I was a little drunk to say the least. I am not sure that the Vodka made the night any better, but it certainly didn't hurt. My friend and I were sitting at this table in the midst of the "Jewish Festivities" and he said that we both are going to get up from the table, meet someone, get a number, and then report back.....Well, he got up, I got up, I got dizzy from the vodka, and I sat right back down.

Lessons:
1. My college days are done, vodka is no longer the way to a man's heart.
2. The Talmud is fair game for a pick-up line.

The Notebook (RLC edition)

Last night I went for sushi at my favorite sushi place, Katsuya, with my friend. As we are munching on our creamy salmon cut roll (my favorite), my friend begins to tell me a story of how someone at her work who is in her 50's or 60's dated this boy when she was young. Her parents didn't want her to see the boy, so they sent her to a different country to go to school.

Seperated from her love and not able to receive his letters, they go their seperate ways. They both end up marrying other people and raising families. She divorced, he lost his wife to illness, and now after 40 something years, they found each other, have rekindled their love and are getting back together.

"Holy Crap!" I exclaim with tuna tartare flying out of my mouth...Maybe that can happen to me!! Maybe there is a chance for me to rekindle love for one of my old childhood sweethearts!!! And then in one fell swoop, the reality hit me.

All of my childhood sweethearts are gay.

Figures.

Hanukkah in August and my ass in a Gospel number

So, last night my office produced a Hanukkah special for PBS. The show was beautiful and stunning and will air on PBS in December. But the real treat for me happened in the dressing room at the end of the night when Joshua Nelson and his Gospel Choir sang a little ditty about how good I was looking. (Thank you exercise and detox.)

Let me tell you, when you have an amazing gospel choir singing a song about your ass, you know that you're clearly on the right path.

Rachel's Breakfast Club

Alright friends, so I am braving the singles scene yet again. My friend Monica just moved to town and said that she wanted to get out there and meet people, so I said, "Bring it on"! Yes indeed, I am going to another young singles-type event on Saturday. I know! 2 in two weeks, I'm like Tila Tequila!!! Let's all absorb the shock of Rachel's burgeoning social calendar, and move on...

To the theme...It's an 80's themed night. Now, I looked like crap back then (Though I did rock a high side pony wrapped with a flourescent scrunchie). So what do I do? Dress the part, relive my prom nightmares, and feel like an idiot? Or screw the theme, dress sexy, and be "not with the party spirit"? Ah...decisions decisions.

The real question, of course, is will I meet some guy like Duckie who will charm the pants off of me, or is Jake Ryan going to buy me a drink at the bar? Or maybe even some hot brat-packer who I didn't even know existed will be waiting in the wings!!! So many 80's references, so little time...

5.8, Sex, and tears

You know, I have lived in LA for awhile now, and the one thing that still scares the crap out of me is these earthquakes. This one today felt like it wasn't going to end. It was long and it shook me hard. Like a good man on a 5th date. Anyway, I can't believe people just carry on with their daily lives during these things. I spoke to one guy who was in the shower when it happened, one couple I know was having sex, and another couple was having sex IN THE SHOWER. What did I do? Cried. People had sex and I cried....typical.

Let's stop polluting our earth...for my feet's sake.

Yesterday, I decide to go to the Santa Monica Beach for some relaxation with my friends. Just so you know, I am NOT a beach girl...sand in EVERY crevice....salt water after I have shaved (do you know what that feels like?)...the whole thing doesn't really speak to me..but I do LOVE the ocean, and I am trying to spend more time outside.

Well, within 5 minutes of sitting down, my feet were covered in this black crap called TAR, which apparently doesn't come off. It was like a complete layer of black goo covering my feet..kind of like in Spiderman 3 when Tobey Maguire was covered in that black goo that made him stronger and meaner. The tar didn't make me strong, but it did make me mean. It pissed me off. So please people, lets start cleaning up after ourselves so it doesn't ruin my pedicure.